John's Jam Surprise
by Teddicus Lupini
Summary: Crackfic. Written in turns with Maddy  belgravias. . Shh just read.


01/10/2012

Sherlock walked into the flat 221 street. He is wearing a scarf and has squinty eyes.

He saw John, John is short and looks like that guy from the hobbit and that dude from the porno scene in love actually (lol it's a gr8 movie you should watch it)

Sherlock spoke (he kinda sounds like Alan Rickman) and he said "I deduce that the jam jar was 3/4 full before I finally left to get the milk." John creeped up on Sherlock was nasty grin on his face and said "It's all over my penis now."

"Is it now?" said Cherlock sarcacsicly. He kinda liked John, but he wouldn't make anymoves because his are like jagger and john deosnt like them. he like sarahs moves because she can shuffle. "Yes." said jhn sexuiky, "You cN have my dick right now if you want it, i like yourmoves btw."

Sherlokc went over the the cd player and quickly popped in his personal Abba sex mix. Soon he and John were sdeducing each other (dat mean deduce and seduce at the same tiem lol) to the sound of 'Dancing Queen'. Den Mrs Hudson walked in and said "Guys there's a second bedroom upstairs with a dubble bed" John said "Potassium" (geddit, K?) and den dey run upstairs half-naked, half-dressed and still really horny.

"John, ojhnhnnng." Shelock said, kissing Jogn. he took his clothes off and started to take of johns. "Sherlock just undress me so we can fuck i havent had this much eye sex to wait." john said sorta bitchily. sherlock bit his neck to shut him up (that turned him on lol sherlock looks like a vampire dont you think? not th etwilight ones the blade ones lol steph myer can fuck a dinosaur)

Soon Sheloks dik was out and John said "Shurlokc why is ur dik spiky?" and Heslrokc said "Cos I have teh dick like jagged" John was turned on by this and cut his mouth trying to put da cumberpenis in his small hobbit mouth

john couldnt speak now because his mouth was ful of dick so sherlovk was like "i know you lke it you hobbit seex god." john started jivng serlock a blowjob and his mouth was gettin all cut up, he didnt csre though becasue he likes cumberdick alot

But it werent long b4 da domiatrisex Urine Adler came into da flat. Urine was yellow becuz shes made of piss nd she c-bloks jawn but apart frm that shes pretty fukkin hawt lol. (but only wen shes nekkid or has her hair dwn, cos her donut hair is gross and boner-shrinkin lol) so yea then Urine spoke to sherlock and jawn as they were sexin it up but instead piss came out of her mouth cos Shes Urine Adler geddit?

john was all shocked like "aw UUrne thsts gross lol." unrine laugh "lol i guess it is." "JOHn NO ONE GAVE UPERVMISSIN TO STOP SUVKING MY DICK." sherlock yelled "whoah chill out sherly, maybe we can settl this?" sherlock started to think, maybe he could get a freaky 3 way outa this? lol he's a virgin and this would ne cool for him. "wghat is it john." he said all pssed lke "maybe we couldf have a 3 way? woulf u be right with tht irene?" sherlock smiled creepiky "yeah sure lol i get a heap of vagina so dic k would be alright today i guess."

Sherlokc stuck his clubby spiky dik into Urine's peepee hole (lol the bottom one not her mouth lol Urine Adler lol) She died becoz she touched penis and penis is dedly to lesbianz.

But b4 she died she sed 'How long do uou love me for' and den Sherlock deduced some things about her and just before she dead he whipered in her ear 'I liked ur webcam shoe last knite'. She cried 5-eva in hell. But jawn finally got his hobbit p3nis out and the jam was literally choking it and it was drippin nd just beggin to be put in shurl0cks cock

"omg your dick though john." sherlock whsped. "i know right." john said, his dick was like massive now because dead bodies turn him on becuasw he os a doktah and sherlock is palle liedk a corps and irnen is dead too lmfao1! "so like i was saing haha i likes your moves, yoy can have my dick now." "yes that's cool i dedeuc tha actually you have a webcan over there" said sherlock poitin over to the cornah "OH HOW DID YOU SEE THAT." "jOHN, john... it's a Paris Hilton Porno Kit, I see those all the time at the morgue." "Wast." "Let's have sex dont worry about what i said it's turning me on."

Mrs Hudson came in and turned on the webcam and emailed the link to the stream to everyone character in the show lol.

Molly started rubbing her clit violently at the sight of shulokcs big mountain trollclub cock. Lestrande interrupted his secks with Mycroft just so he could have a peep at jawns tiny but nice jammy hobbit flop. Lestrande got an even bigger cockpop than b4 LOL. Minecraft was more interested in lookin at his nekkid brother. Unf unf incest he said. (He was always turned on by his brother, dat y he stempted on shurlox sheet in bucket-of-ham place. Mrs Husdon stuck some of her herbal soothers up her butt to aid her sekshoeal aroosement and Anderson pulled his tongue out of a stegasaurus's mouth to to have a creep look at naky sherCOCJ.

Dona got out of her stoner van (geddit, Dona-van?) to peep through da upstears window of 221v baker stret to have a kwik-e-look at da butt of her ex-boyfran shurlokc. (Dat y girlfran not shurlokcs area n-e moar lol)

It was amazin n everione waas gettin tund on "Omg i wondha who's watchin." said john "i dont care olol your dick is good." whispered sherlock but said it just loudly enoguh that everonye herd it on the live stream and came all at the same tiem "what was that." said jhon "no idea lol finish up in my butt already." "alright but OH GOD I CAME DAMN."

And den sex juice was all ova London nd da queen drouned in pussy and penis juice THE END?


End file.
